The best things in life are free…
Oh God, what a platitude! Any moment now I’ll go on to primly point out that nothing is more important than HEALTH, and …
Nope. I was thinking more along the line of those microscopic moments of unadulterated joy at being alive & human that (I hope) most of us experience at the strangest times. One such moment happened a year or so ago while lining up for a security control in an airport. I know; not the most inspiring of locations, and let me tell you this airport was no exception to the rule.
The attendants looked as if they’d rather be anywhere but there, the passengers looked pretty much the same, the guy in front of me was holding up his pants with one hand, balancing a tray containing belt, phone, computer in his other, and holding his rucksack with his teeth, the elegant gentleman three people down had holes on his socks… you get it, right?
Suddenly a commotion broke out on the other line. Everyone sort of started out of a doze, turning with some interest to where a female passenger was really, really angry. She beeped when she went through the barrier and was sent back, curtly informed to take of her (very) high heeled shoes. I don’t speak the local language, but body language conveyed with precision just what she thought of the pimply nitwit who was demanding this of HER. Off went her shoes. She passed through. She beeped. Loudly.
Her jewelry, the male assistant motioned sending her back (He was enjoying this, let me tell you) Activities at all other lines stopped. One hundred eyes were glued to the lady as she sailed through the barrier. Would she beep again? Yupp.
Back again, off came her watch. She still beeped.
By now, she was beyond vocally mad.She straightened up, gripped hold of her dress and voilà, off it came. Appreciative murmurs from several male passengers. Loud protesting sounds from the shell shocked attendant. (Yes, she was a sight – a glorious empowered female in black minimal lacy underwear) She stepped through the barrier. All of us held our breath. She beeped! When she seemed on the point of divesting her bra, the male attendant shook his head and motioned her onward. We broke out in spontaneous applause, she twirled and took a bow – still in those minimal scraps of lace. I had a stitch in my side from laughing.
Nowadays, I never travel without ensuring I have coordinated, flattering underwear on. After all, one never knows to what lengths one must go to make it through security, right?